[Now that he has someone other than himself to be concerned about, suddenly it's easier to talk. At least in some ways.]
For me, it's been a few brief moments of paralysis, over the past few weeks. No common thread that I've been able to pin down, long enough between incidents that I thought they might go away.
[He swallows. This is the most difficult one, for him personally.]
My magic failed, once. Like I'd been silenced, when no Templars were around. The third has had weakness spells, the fourth has had confusion and weakness. All of the various incidents had gaps between them. And there are no traces, Julius. I've examined myself and both of them, and found nothing that would cause this.
[In some ways, the fact that nothing is wrong should be reassuring. It's really, really not.]
Do you suspect it's connected to the other form of illness? Or just an amazingly wretched coincidence?
[While he generally doesn't believe in coincidence... there's a lot of bad things going on in the world, and not all of them are necessarily connected.]
I think it's a wretched coincidence. There aren't any symptom parallels, and I can detect things wrong in those suffering from the blue fever. On top of that, my first spell happened a full week before I believe any of the current illness symptoms was reported.
[He takes a breath.]
I... I can't think of many things that don't leave traces. And I really am not comfortable with how it seems to just be mages from Kinloch, not when I saw some of the experiments Templars were running on people here.
[Greagoir, he feels, wouldn't have approved anything like this, but that doesn't preclude Templars taking matters in hand on their own.]
My first spell happened before, too. Not long after the first of the month. But we need more information before we can draw good conclusions. After all, even if we have Kinloch Hold in common, we left at different times, under different circumstances. It could as easily have been something we were passively exposed to as something done to us actively, for all we know.
We can't keep this hidden indefinitely, regardless.
[Says the man who began this conversation Illness, what illness?, but even so.]
[He hopes the fear he feels isn't showing in his voice, but he's never been the best at masking things.]
I can't risk being seen as an easy target, not in this city. I know there's likely rumors since one of the spells happened in my Clinic but I cannot afford the knowledge spreading.
It'll look worse if it comes out we were hiding it.
[His tone is quiet, and not unsympathetic, but firm all the same.]
I won't share your name without your permission, but think about it. If those of us affected decide together, now, who to tell and how, we control it. I've had at least one of these spells in front of another person, and it sounds like you have too. The longer we wait, the less likely we are to have a say in who knows when.
[He's quiet for a few moments after that as he puts his thoughts in order.]
If it isn't a disease and it's something that's been done to us, we have every reason to not tell because we're trying to weed out the source. And the fourth, who suggested it might be an enchantment, will most likely not speak with you, so coming to a consensus would be difficult. Your allegiances mean they do not want contact.
When I thought it was just me. I still planned to speak with someone once the more urgent health situation was under control. You know I... am not an avid fan of appearing vulnerable.
[And never has been.]
This is a different situation. I'm not talking about broadcasting it for the entire organization to hear, I'm talking about approaching someone you trust, someone not from Kinloch Hold. Even if it's not someone in a position of substantial power -- considering how many of them are ill these days, it would be easy to argue they're not the best choice even if someone challenges it later -- telling anyone else might help us in the immediate and would definitely help us in the long run. Because otherwise someone will use it to say "look, we knew mages can't be trusted, what else are they hiding?"
[A small pause.]
Not that I'm forcing the issue with the third party in question, but... you, at least, know that whatever my politics, I wouldn't purposely put anyone from home in harm's way. Don't you?
[He knows it was never home to Anders, really; he knows that either way it's gone. But it matters all the same.]
[He listens to it all and there's a short pause on his end too. When he speaks, his voice is gentle.]
You do not mean them harm. I know this. But they suffered at Templar hands and you want the Circles back, Julius. They've suffered so much that they're trying to avoid magic itself, so your goals terrify them as much as my goals terrify some.
As far as others... I can safely name Inessa as our other afflicted, and the witnesses of spells are my husband, Teren, and Vandelin. And my husband reported the matter to the other two leaders of the Wardens as he took the day off after. So we could say that Warden leadership is all aware of it. I do trust them, and only one is ill.
I don't want... No, you know what, neither of us are well and this isn't the time for a nuanced argument over the future of mages.
If you've told the Wardens about you and Inessa, that will likely serve. Given the Wardens' general history of being rather insular, I may talk to someone else myself. Myrobalan is a talented researcher and I know he can be discreet, he's a possibility.
I'll keep the other three of you out of it as far as it's up to me. But we'll get farther, faster, if we collaborate.
[That's a rather good reason to not have that discussion right now.]
Let me confer with them and I can see if there's any sort of opinion on what path to take, please, before we bring in other mages. I believe Myrobalan can be discreet as well, but this is going to impact everyone.
Fine. It doesn't seem as if the progression is so rapid a few days will make a difference, and I was planning to wait and see how it played out either way; the new urgency is mainly that it's not only my health in the balance.
Just... don't shut me out. I know we have our disagreements, but I don't want any of us to suffer a moment longer than necessary, and I want to help.
Whatever we are, you still have importance to me. And I'd not leave a patient in the dark, either, even if you didn't.
[He goes, and a couple of hours later he's messaging again with a little amusement.]
Never mind. You already know who he is and what he is, and we're gathering at [room place thing] at [time] to discuss what's going on, all four of us if you're free.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Because it sounds like you make four, and all from Kinloch Hold. There is no other common thread.
no subject
[Now that he has someone other than himself to be concerned about, suddenly it's easier to talk. At least in some ways.]
For me, it's been a few brief moments of paralysis, over the past few weeks. No common thread that I've been able to pin down, long enough between incidents that I thought they might go away.
no subject
[He swallows. This is the most difficult one, for him personally.]
My magic failed, once. Like I'd been silenced, when no Templars were around. The third has had weakness spells, the fourth has had confusion and weakness. All of the various incidents had gaps between them. And there are no traces, Julius. I've examined myself and both of them, and found nothing that would cause this.
[His pride is injured on top of the rest.]
no subject
Do you suspect it's connected to the other form of illness? Or just an amazingly wretched coincidence?
[While he generally doesn't believe in coincidence... there's a lot of bad things going on in the world, and not all of them are necessarily connected.]
no subject
I think it's a wretched coincidence. There aren't any symptom parallels, and I can detect things wrong in those suffering from the blue fever. On top of that, my first spell happened a full week before I believe any of the current illness symptoms was reported.
[He takes a breath.]
I... I can't think of many things that don't leave traces. And I really am not comfortable with how it seems to just be mages from Kinloch, not when I saw some of the experiments Templars were running on people here.
[Greagoir, he feels, wouldn't have approved anything like this, but that doesn't preclude Templars taking matters in hand on their own.]
no subject
[Probably unnecessary to state, but still.]
My first spell happened before, too. Not long after the first of the month. But we need more information before we can draw good conclusions. After all, even if we have Kinloch Hold in common, we left at different times, under different circumstances. It could as easily have been something we were passively exposed to as something done to us actively, for all we know.
We can't keep this hidden indefinitely, regardless.
[Says the man who began this conversation Illness, what illness?, but even so.]
no subject
[He hopes the fear he feels isn't showing in his voice, but he's never been the best at masking things.]
I can't risk being seen as an easy target, not in this city. I know there's likely rumors since one of the spells happened in my Clinic but I cannot afford the knowledge spreading.
no subject
[His tone is quiet, and not unsympathetic, but firm all the same.]
I won't share your name without your permission, but think about it. If those of us affected decide together, now, who to tell and how, we control it. I've had at least one of these spells in front of another person, and it sounds like you have too. The longer we wait, the less likely we are to have a say in who knows when.
no subject
[He's quiet for a few moments after that as he puts his thoughts in order.]
If it isn't a disease and it's something that's been done to us, we have every reason to not tell because we're trying to weed out the source. And the fourth, who suggested it might be an enchantment, will most likely not speak with you, so coming to a consensus would be difficult. Your allegiances mean they do not want contact.
no subject
[And never has been.]
This is a different situation. I'm not talking about broadcasting it for the entire organization to hear, I'm talking about approaching someone you trust, someone not from Kinloch Hold. Even if it's not someone in a position of substantial power -- considering how many of them are ill these days, it would be easy to argue they're not the best choice even if someone challenges it later -- telling anyone else might help us in the immediate and would definitely help us in the long run. Because otherwise someone will use it to say "look, we knew mages can't be trusted, what else are they hiding?"
[A small pause.]
Not that I'm forcing the issue with the third party in question, but... you, at least, know that whatever my politics, I wouldn't purposely put anyone from home in harm's way. Don't you?
[He knows it was never home to Anders, really; he knows that either way it's gone. But it matters all the same.]
no subject
You do not mean them harm. I know this. But they suffered at Templar hands and you want the Circles back, Julius. They've suffered so much that they're trying to avoid magic itself, so your goals terrify them as much as my goals terrify some.
As far as others... I can safely name Inessa as our other afflicted, and the witnesses of spells are my husband, Teren, and Vandelin. And my husband reported the matter to the other two leaders of the Wardens as he took the day off after. So we could say that Warden leadership is all aware of it. I do trust them, and only one is ill.
no subject
If you've told the Wardens about you and Inessa, that will likely serve. Given the Wardens' general history of being rather insular, I may talk to someone else myself. Myrobalan is a talented researcher and I know he can be discreet, he's a possibility.
I'll keep the other three of you out of it as far as it's up to me. But we'll get farther, faster, if we collaborate.
no subject
Let me confer with them and I can see if there's any sort of opinion on what path to take, please, before we bring in other mages. I believe Myrobalan can be discreet as well, but this is going to impact everyone.
no subject
Just... don't shut me out. I know we have our disagreements, but I don't want any of us to suffer a moment longer than necessary, and I want to help.
no subject
[It's said with complete certainty.]
Whatever we are, you still have importance to me. And I'd not leave a patient in the dark, either, even if you didn't.
[He goes, and a couple of hours later he's messaging again with a little amusement.]
Never mind. You already know who he is and what he is, and we're gathering at [room place thing] at [time] to discuss what's going on, all four of us if you're free.