That's true, and not something to brush aside. On the other hand, that confrontation was always coming if you planned to do anything other than going into hiding the moment Corypheus is defeated. Perhaps doing it now, this way...
[He thinks, then says:]
It's still a large risk, and it's your life. But if I were in your place, I'd prefer to roll the dice on the Chantry's response now when they have both a practical reason not to want to alienate one of the forces opposing Corypheus and a calculus to make about setting off a war on yet another front. You're surrounded by other former Circle mages watching to see what the Chantry will do; you're not one mage acting on your own.
[In other words, the fact that the situation was complicated might give her some leverage she would otherwise lack. Granted, "might" could seem a bit slender when it was one's own life and liberty in play.]
[ The sentiment is touching when Julius phrases it that way, though Derrica was not unaware of it. She'd been thinking of her fellow mages and what she might bring down on their heads, but not necessarily what they might do in her service.
She ducks her head briefly, sipping her cooling tea. ]
That is kind.
[ her tone is softer around those words. ]
I'm not afraid of the risk. And if there's some benefit in knowing, I think that's worth it. But I can't pretend some part of this isn't because I hate that they have any piece of me in their possession.
[ Julius and Ilias had both been right, and so had Flint. There's value in knowing the Chantry's viewpoints, no matter the risk. But Derrica hadn't thought of that when she'd sent the letter. ]
Anders brought me mine. Before the negotiations. He'd gotten his hands on it and gave it to me. And I thought that the right thing to do would probably be to turn it over. To take my chances with everyone else, to demonstrate faith in the system.
But I didn't do that. I quietly destroyed it and never mentioned that I'd ever had it in my hands. [And he'd been calling himself a Loyalist, then.] Sometiems it truly is personal.
glacially gathers this to my bosom, mea culpa for mY slowness
[ The admission does more to settle her than anything else that's been said so far. She'd known little of Julius before this, but his understanding carries weight.
Her expression warms, even as she hesitates over her response. There's little to say. She understands. She'd have done the same. Surely he reads this in her face. ]
It's hard to have faith in them. They've done so much to show us they don't have the same trust in us.
[ Derrica hasn't trusted the Chantry in a very long time, but she knows there are others who still attempt to believe the best of them. ]
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no subject
[He thinks, then says:]
It's still a large risk, and it's your life. But if I were in your place, I'd prefer to roll the dice on the Chantry's response now when they have both a practical reason not to want to alienate one of the forces opposing Corypheus and a calculus to make about setting off a war on yet another front. You're surrounded by other former Circle mages watching to see what the Chantry will do; you're not one mage acting on your own.
[In other words, the fact that the situation was complicated might give her some leverage she would otherwise lack. Granted, "might" could seem a bit slender when it was one's own life and liberty in play.]
no subject
She ducks her head briefly, sipping her cooling tea. ]
That is kind.
[ her tone is softer around those words. ]
I'm not afraid of the risk. And if there's some benefit in knowing, I think that's worth it. But I can't pretend some part of this isn't because I hate that they have any piece of me in their possession.
[ Julius and Ilias had both been right, and so had Flint. There's value in knowing the Chantry's viewpoints, no matter the risk. But Derrica hadn't thought of that when she'd sent the letter. ]
WHOOPS for sure thought I tagged this, apologies
[A pause, then he said:]
Anders brought me mine. Before the negotiations. He'd gotten his hands on it and gave it to me. And I thought that the right thing to do would probably be to turn it over. To take my chances with everyone else, to demonstrate faith in the system.
But I didn't do that. I quietly destroyed it and never mentioned that I'd ever had it in my hands. [And he'd been calling himself a Loyalist, then.] Sometiems it truly is personal.
glacially gathers this to my bosom, mea culpa for mY slowness
Her expression warms, even as she hesitates over her response. There's little to say. She understands. She'd have done the same. Surely he reads this in her face. ]
It's hard to have faith in them. They've done so much to show us they don't have the same trust in us.
[ Derrica hasn't trusted the Chantry in a very long time, but she knows there are others who still attempt to believe the best of them. ]